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Subject Topic: I`ll get my coat. (Please add more)
Page:  1  ....  7  8  9  10  11  12 Post Reply Post New Topic
04/3/2023 at 10:23pm
 Location: Near Belfast
 Outfit: Ranger & Hymer Nova
View baddon's Profile View Profile   Reply to baddon Reply   Quote baddon Quote  
Joined: 19/2/2016

Gold Member
Gold Member

Forum Posts:   275
Tent Reviews:   2

Site Reviews Total: 7
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 1  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
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Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 1  
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Site Nights 2018: 2

Wife asked me what I was going to do today - NOTHING, I replied
You did that all day yesterday she replied?
Yep, and I wasn't finished!!

-------------
if your not living life on the edge your taking up tooo much room


05/3/2023 at 10:09am
 Location: 
 Outfit: 
View SGThomas's Profile View Profile   Reply to SGThomas Reply   Quote SGThomas Quote  
Joined: 16/10/2007

Diamond Member
Diamond Member

Forum Posts:   6667
Tent Reviews:   1

Site Reviews Total: 116
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 4  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
Site Reviews 2020: 0  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 15 
Site Nights 2024: 0
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Site Nights 2022: 40
Site Nights 2021: 0
Site Nights 2020: 0
Site Nights 2019: 0
Site Nights 2018: 98

Does anyone know how long a chicken should last in the freezer?



I am asking because I put one in the freezer yesterday and it was dead this morning.


05/3/2023 at 6:01pm
 Location: None Entered
 Outfit: Coachman Festival
View Ancient Uncle's Profile View Profile   Reply to Ancient Uncle Reply   Quote Ancient Uncle Quote  
Joined: 22/5/2017

Gold Member
Gold Member

Forum Posts:   453

Site Reviews Total: 5
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 3  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
Site Reviews 2020: 0  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 0  
Site Nights 2024: 0
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Site Nights 2022: 34
Site Nights 2021: 0
Site Nights 2020: 0
Site Nights 2019: 0
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Local car sales showroom obviously lacking trade at present. Their latest advert says "part exchange anything on wheels"

So I have just bought the mother in law a pair of roller skates.......


06/3/2023 at 4:28pm
 Location: West Yorks
 Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Bridgelayer's Profile View Profile   Reply to Bridgelayer Reply   Quote Bridgelayer Quote  
Joined: 24/5/2012

Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Forum Posts:   743

Site Reviews Total: 1
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 0  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
Site Reviews 2020: 0  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 0  
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Site Nights 2021: 0
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I asked an athlete if he was a Pole Vaulter and he replied, "Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name was Vaulter?"

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       


25/3/2023 at 8:22pm
 Location: West Yorks
 Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Bridgelayer's Profile View Profile   Reply to Bridgelayer Reply   Quote Bridgelayer Quote  
Joined: 24/5/2012

Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Forum Posts:   743

Site Reviews Total: 1
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 0  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
Site Reviews 2020: 0  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 0  
Site Nights 2024: 0
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Site Nights 2021: 0
Site Nights 2020: 0
Site Nights 2019: 0
Site Nights 2018: 0

Doing my little bit for the environment today, I saw a row of cars all plugged into the mains and nobody was using them.

Inconsiderate fools!


I unplugged the lot of them!

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       


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22/4/2023 at 12:49pm
 Location: West Yorks
 Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Bridgelayer's Profile View Profile   Reply to Bridgelayer Reply   Quote Bridgelayer Quote  
Joined: 24/5/2012

Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Forum Posts:   743

Site Reviews Total: 1
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 0  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
Site Reviews 2020: 0  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 0  
Site Nights 2024: 0
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Site Nights 2021: 0
Site Nights 2020: 0
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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him.

"What in the world is wrong with you?! You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied,

"I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       


07/5/2023 at 2:12pm
 Location: West Yorks
 Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Bridgelayer's Profile View Profile   Reply to Bridgelayer Reply   Quote Bridgelayer Quote  
Joined: 24/5/2012

Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Forum Posts:   743

Site Reviews Total: 1
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 0  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
Site Reviews 2020: 0  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 0  
Site Nights 2024: 0
Site Nights 2023: 0
Site Nights 2022: 0
Site Nights 2021: 0
Site Nights 2020: 0
Site Nights 2019: 0
Site Nights 2018: 0

Police have confirmed that the member of Security Staff who fell from the 12th floor of a night club was not a Bouncer.

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       


05/6/2023 at 11:06pm
 Location: West Yorks
 Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Bridgelayer's Profile View Profile   Reply to Bridgelayer Reply   Quote Bridgelayer Quote  
Joined: 24/5/2012

Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Forum Posts:   743

Site Reviews Total: 1
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 0  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
Site Reviews 2020: 0  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 0  
Site Nights 2024: 0
Site Nights 2023: 0
Site Nights 2022: 0
Site Nights 2021: 0
Site Nights 2020: 0
Site Nights 2019: 0
Site Nights 2018: 0

An elderly gent was driving along at a sedate speed when he noticed a police car in his mirror, so he speeded up.
The police car also increased speed so the OAP increased speed too only to have the police car still there in his mirror.
He hung a left at the next turn and the police car followed so he floored it.
The police car switched on its siren and blue lights, the chase was on.
80 mph, 100 mph, 110, then 120, but he couldn't lose the cop.
He pulled over and waited.
"Why were you driving like an idiot?" the policeman asked.
"Well," said the OAP. "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       


05/6/2023 at 11:07pm
 Location: West Yorks
 Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Bridgelayer's Profile View Profile   Reply to Bridgelayer Reply   Quote Bridgelayer Quote  
Joined: 24/5/2012

Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Forum Posts:   743

Site Reviews Total: 1
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 0  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
Site Reviews 2020: 0  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 0  
Site Nights 2024: 0
Site Nights 2023: 0
Site Nights 2022: 0
Site Nights 2021: 0
Site Nights 2020: 0
Site Nights 2019: 0
Site Nights 2018: 0

'm really pleased with my vegetable patch.



Haven't wanted a vegetable in weeks.

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       


10/5/2024 at 9:07pm
 Location: 
 Outfit: 
View ZolaBuddy's Profile View Profile   Reply to ZolaBuddy Reply   Quote ZolaBuddy Quote  
Joined: 29/4/2024

Standard Member
Standard Member

Forum Posts:   2

Site Reviews Total: 0
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 0  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
Site Reviews 2020: 0  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 0  
Site Nights 2024: 0
Site Nights 2023: 0
Site Nights 2022: 0
Site Nights 2021: 0
Site Nights 2020: 0
Site Nights 2019: 0
Site Nights 2018: 0

I ate some Scrabble tiles in error. Had constipation for days.

Went to the doctor and he wasn't very happy. I thought it spelt disaster.


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14/5/2024 at 3:46pm
 Location: Perth
 Outfit: Bailey Ranger BMW 320d Convertible
View Rod+Ali's Profile View Profile   Reply to Rod+Ali Reply   Quote Rod+Ali Quote  
Joined: 31/12/2006

Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Forum Posts:   694
Tent Reviews:   1

Site Reviews Total: 24
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 3  
Site Reviews 2022: 0  
Site Reviews 2021: 2  
Site Reviews 2020: 1  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 2  
Site Nights 2024: 0
Site Nights 2023: 19
Site Nights 2022: 0
Site Nights 2021: 7
Site Nights 2020: 8
Site Nights 2019: 0
Site Nights 2018: 6

I went to the doctor about my insomnia.

After examining me he said.......I have good news and bad news.

I said - give me the bad news first

He said I had the worst case of insomnia he had ever seen.

The good news........only three more sleeps till Christmas !

-------------
"quando omni flunkus moritatus"


16/5/2024 at 9:11pm
 Location: West Yorks
 Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Bridgelayer's Profile View Profile   Reply to Bridgelayer Reply   Quote Bridgelayer Quote  
Joined: 24/5/2012

Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Forum Posts:   743

Site Reviews Total: 1
Site Reviews 2024: 0  
Site Reviews 2023: 0  
Site Reviews 2022: 0  
Site Reviews 2021: 0  
Site Reviews 2020: 0  
Site Reviews 2019: 0  
Site Reviews 2018: 0  
Site Nights 2024: 0
Site Nights 2023: 0
Site Nights 2022: 0
Site Nights 2021: 0
Site Nights 2020: 0
Site Nights 2019: 0
Site Nights 2018: 0

My neighbour asked me how many rolls of wallpaper I had ought to decorate downstairs and I told him "16". A couple of weeks later he came round again and told me he had 5 rolls left from the 16.

I told him, "That's funny, so have I!"

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       



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