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Subject Topic: I`ll get my coat. (Please add more)
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Message posted by kevin-t25/5/2021 at 8:17pm
Outfit:  Coachman laser Discovery3     Location:  SHEFFIELD
Joined: 07/9/2010
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Jesus looked across the table at God and asked “where have you been these last months?”

God replied “I’ve been to Sheffield”

Jesus, with a shocked look said “So there has been a pandemic raging for the last year or so, and you have been to Sheffield. Doing what?”

God leaned over and whispered “working from home son, working from home”

Message posted by Bridgelayer26/5/2021 at 9:42pm
Outfit:  Gobur Carousel     Location:  West Yorks
Joined: 24/5/2012
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I had a rare steak for my tea tonight.   

Giant Panda.

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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       

Message posted by Bridgelayer26/5/2021 at 9:52pm
Outfit:  Gobur Carousel     Location:  West Yorks
Joined: 24/5/2012
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I went to see my doctor this morning.
"How can I help you?" she asked.
"I found a lump while I was in the bath," I replied, pointing downwards.
"Oh right," she said, "Take your trousers down for me."
After having a good old feel of my private parts for a few minutes, she said, "It feels fine to me."
"I said, "That's good to know thanks very much... But what about this lump on my toe?"

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       

Message posted by SGThomas30/5/2021 at 9:14am
Outfit:       Location:  
Joined: 16/10/2007
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Every night at bedtime I pull off my pair of boxers.
The missus says I spoil those dogs.

-------------
Stuart


April-Jul 2020 Awandering we will go ( Oh if only!)

Message posted by Bridgelayer31/5/2021 at 11:32am
Outfit:  Gobur Carousel     Location:  West Yorks
Joined: 24/5/2012
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A man went to the hospital with a golf ball jammed up his backside.

He told the doctor it had gone up a fairway.

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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       

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Message posted by Bridgelayer31/5/2021 at 11:44am
Outfit:  Gobur Carousel     Location:  West Yorks
Joined: 24/5/2012
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An old friend of mine popped in to see me for a surprise visit and asked if he could sleep on the sofa.

I explained to him that as I am now married, that's where I sleep.

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Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       

Message posted by The Vicar01/6/2021 at 7:28am
Outfit:  Coachman Pastiche 525 4     Location:  Suffolk
Joined: 20/3/2009
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It is so annoying.....one misplaced letter and your whole post is urined


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A Fart is only Natures Ringtone

Finish what you sta

Message posted by SGThomas01/6/2021 at 9:47pm
Outfit:       Location:  
Joined: 16/10/2007
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Two yokels, Gilles and Simon, were in a MacDonalds when a woman at another table started choking on her food.

Giles leapt up,ran over to the woman, yanked her out of her chair, pulled her pants down and ran his tongue up her bottom.

The woman spat out the offending piece of meat and the colour of her face returned to nornal

Simon turned to the gawping bystanders and said That there hind lick manoeuvre always works"

-------------
Stuart


April-Jul 2020 Awandering we will go ( Oh if only!)

Message posted by Bridgelayer06/6/2021 at 8:20pm
Outfit:  Gobur Carousel     Location:  West Yorks
Joined: 24/5/2012
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I rang Ryanair to book a flight.
The call-taker asked "How many will be flying with you"?
I replied "How should I know?, it's your plane"

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       

Message posted by Bridgelayer06/6/2021 at 8:23pm
Outfit:  Gobur Carousel     Location:  West Yorks
Joined: 24/5/2012
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My deaf wife left me for a deaf bloke. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       

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Message posted by moppetsdad07/6/2021 at 5:46pm
Outfit:   A full biohazard suit     Location:  The foot hills of north norfolk
Joined: 29/3/2009
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Rumour has it that foreign holidays are only allowed to countries that voted for us in the eurovison contest

-------------
David

    

   Just call me two jabs!


Message posted by Bridgelayer11/6/2021 at 3:44pm
Outfit:  Gobur Carousel     Location:  West Yorks
Joined: 24/5/2012
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I went to the pet shop and asked for twelve bees.
The guy behind the counter counted them out.
11-12-13.
I said: "You've given me one too many".


He said: "That one's a freebee".

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       

Message posted by Bridgelayer21/6/2021 at 1:21pm
Outfit:  Gobur Carousel     Location:  West Yorks
Joined: 24/5/2012
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Whilst telling a friend about his future marriage the groom said he would be wearing a kilt.
The friend asked what’s the tartan.
The groom replied, ‘she’ll be wearing white.’




-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       

Message posted by Bridgelayer21/6/2021 at 2:23pm
Outfit:  Gobur Carousel     Location:  West Yorks
Joined: 24/5/2012
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Forum Posts:   713

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I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk

Alcoholics go to meetings.....

-------------
Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.

Goodbye tension, hello Pension!


       

Message posted by junglesim21/6/2021 at 4:51pm
Outfit:  None Entered     Location:  None Entered
Joined: 12/3/2018
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Forum Posts:   86
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What is the opposite of a croissant?

A happy uncle.


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