|
10/5/2023 at 8:53pm
Location: West Yorks Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 24/5/2012 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 744
Site Reviews Total: | 1 |
|
Site Reviews 2025: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2024: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2023: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2021: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2020: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
|
Site Nights 2025: | 0 |
Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
Site Nights 2023: | 0 |
Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
Site Nights 2021: | 0 |
Site Nights 2020: | 0 |
Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
|
I've been informed that it isn't good to keep things bottled up.
My question is, "How long should I take to drink this case of wine?"
------------- Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
|
10/5/2023 at 8:57pm
Location: West Yorks Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 24/5/2012 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 744
Site Reviews Total: | 1 |
|
Site Reviews 2025: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2024: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2023: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2021: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2020: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
|
Site Nights 2025: | 0 |
Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
Site Nights 2023: | 0 |
Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
Site Nights 2021: | 0 |
Site Nights 2020: | 0 |
Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
|
Why don't eggs taste like chicken?
------------- Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
|
01/7/2023 at 11:14am
Location: West Yorks Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 24/5/2012 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 744
Site Reviews Total: | 1 |
|
Site Reviews 2025: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2024: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2023: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2021: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2020: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
|
Site Nights 2025: | 0 |
Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
Site Nights 2023: | 0 |
Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
Site Nights 2021: | 0 |
Site Nights 2020: | 0 |
Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
|
I asked my wife, “ How come you never agree with me?”
She said, “ Well, if I did that, then we both be wrong.”
------------- Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
|
13/7/2023 at 5:17pm
Location: West Yorks Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 24/5/2012 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 744
Site Reviews Total: | 1 |
|
Site Reviews 2025: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2024: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2023: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2021: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2020: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
|
Site Nights 2025: | 0 |
Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
Site Nights 2023: | 0 |
Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
Site Nights 2021: | 0 |
Site Nights 2020: | 0 |
Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
|
I bumped into Cat Stevens on a camp site.
He looked upset, so I asked him what was the matter.
He said his awning had broken.
------------- Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
|
14/7/2023 at 8:19am
Location: Perth Outfit: Bailey Ranger BMW 320d Convertible
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 31/12/2006 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 694 Tent Reviews: 1
Site Reviews Total: | 24 |
|
Site Reviews 2025: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2024: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2023: | 3 |
Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2021: | 2 |
Site Reviews 2020: | 1 |
Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
|
Site Nights 2025: | 0 |
Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
Site Nights 2023: | 19 |
Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
Site Nights 2021: | 7 |
Site Nights 2020: | 8 |
Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
|
My mate's wife has just left him for a tractor salesman............she left him a John Deere letter.
------------- "quando omni flunkus moritatus"
|
14/7/2023 at 8:52pm
Location: West Yorks Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 24/5/2012 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 744
Site Reviews Total: | 1 |
|
Site Reviews 2025: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2024: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2023: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2021: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2020: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
|
Site Nights 2025: | 0 |
Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
Site Nights 2023: | 0 |
Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
Site Nights 2021: | 0 |
Site Nights 2020: | 0 |
Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
|
Having my ears syringed is one of the most painful things I've ever had done.
I can hear my wife perfectly now.
------------- Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
|
24/11/2023 at 9:55pm
Location: West Yorks Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 24/5/2012 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 744
Site Reviews Total: | 1 |
|
Site Reviews 2025: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2024: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2023: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2021: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2020: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
|
Site Nights 2025: | 0 |
Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
Site Nights 2023: | 0 |
Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
Site Nights 2021: | 0 |
Site Nights 2020: | 0 |
Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
|
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance" says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Don’t you remember about three months ago when our car broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself !"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
------------- Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
|
24/11/2023 at 9:57pm
Location: West Yorks Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 24/5/2012 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 744
Site Reviews Total: | 1 |
|
Site Reviews 2025: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2024: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2023: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2021: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2020: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
|
Site Nights 2025: | 0 |
Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
Site Nights 2023: | 0 |
Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
Site Nights 2021: | 0 |
Site Nights 2020: | 0 |
Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
|
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance" says the husband, "it's 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3 o'clock in the morning and it's pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Don’t you remember about three months ago when our car broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself !"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
------------- Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
|
30/11/2023 at 3:19pm
Location: West Yorks Outfit: Gobur Carousel
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 24/5/2012 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 744
Site Reviews Total: | 1 |
|
Site Reviews 2025: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2024: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2023: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2021: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2020: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
|
Site Nights 2025: | 0 |
Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
Site Nights 2023: | 0 |
Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
Site Nights 2021: | 0 |
Site Nights 2020: | 0 |
Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
|
I walked into my local boozer and said to the barman, “Quick, give me a
double scotch!”
I gulped it downs it in one and said to the barman, “I shouldn’t have had that with what I’ve got.”
The barman said, “Why, what have you got?”
So, I told him, "40p."
------------- Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Goodbye tension, hello Pension!
|
17/12/2023 at 4:57pm
Location: Location Location Outfit: Smart slacks and an Armani jumper
View Profile
Reply
Quote
|
Joined: 23/4/2002 Platinum Member 
Forum Posts: 1209
Site Reviews Total: | 0 |
|
Site Reviews 2025: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2024: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2023: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2022: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2021: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2020: | 0 |
Site Reviews 2019: | 0 |
|
Site Nights 2025: | 0 |
Site Nights 2024: | 0 |
Site Nights 2023: | 0 |
Site Nights 2022: | 0 |
Site Nights 2021: | 0 |
Site Nights 2020: | 0 |
Site Nights 2019: | 0 |
|
My mate has a bad stammer.
By the time he told us his Nanna had died we were all singing 'Hey Jude'.
|
|