I wish I’d bought my baked beans online. Heinz site’s a wonderful thing.
How does a Flamenco dancer catch a lot of fish? She Castanets.
Sugar puns are rare, but brown sugar puns: Demarara.
I saw my mate walking down the road holding hands with a fat bird,“Is she your girlfriend?”, I asked.
“Yes, what gave it away?” he said.“The zoo, by the look of it”.
I’m not saying you’re a slut, sweetheart, but even the label on your knickers says Next.
Before going to the hairdressers, my wife asked me what cut would suit her best.
Apparently “a power cut” wasn’t the right answer.
I had a job in a Cadbury’s factory packing fudge fingers in boxes. Every day somebody would ask me if I was still “packing fudge”, so I quit.
Next week I start my new job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts, so I hope the name calling will stop
Just been offered a job at an Ice Cream factory, but I turned it down.I don’t like working on Sundaes.
I only eat Vegan. They’re easy to catch and don’t put up much of a fight.
Just got a new job at a guillotine factory. I’ll beheading there shortly.
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two.
What’s your pet hate? It doesn’t like my finger up its bum.
What can jelly babies do that men can’t? Come in 5 delicious flavours.
If you’re wrong and stay silent, you’re wise. If you’re right and stay silent, you’re married.
I paid £25 for a taxi to the Laundrette. I feel like I’ve been taken to the cleaners.
I’ve just bought a new car. It came with an airbag and a spoiler: the wife and her mother.
Really funny so many jokes all brill well done.
It reminds me of the tale about a comedians convention where they all knew and shared each others jokes all individually numbered. The comedians would then each take to the stage and tell numbers all to great applause. Until a trainee comedian took his turn but his joke numbers all fell totally flat he left the stage. It was later explained its not the joke its the way you tell it
Amazing family weekend with old steam engines, classic car displays, market stalls, and full catering and bar. And camping on site - Save £25 by booking in advance.
Topic: More groans
via mobile 23/9/2019 at 7:56pm
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