A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance" says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Don’t you remember about three months ago when our car broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself !"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
------------- Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance" says the husband, "it's 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3 o'clock in the morning and it's pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Don’t you remember about three months ago when our car broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself !"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
------------- Some days you are the dog,
some days you are the tree.
Three scientists a monkey and an elephant
Three scientists started to feed an elephant daily and put a Cork up it's bottom while feeding the elephant daily they traing the monkey to extract the cork on the given day the experiment one scientist stands 3 feet away from the elephant the second stands 6 feet away and the third stands 9 feet away on the word go the monkey is given the instruction to pull out the Cork the third scientist standing 9 feet away has poop up to his waist the second scientist standing 6 feet awy has poop up to his chest the first scientist is over his his head in poop and is laughing hysterically what are you laughing about the other 2 scientists asked you should have seen the monkey trying to put the Cork back
Amazing family weekend with old steam engines, classic car displays, market stalls, and full catering and bar. And camping on site - Save £25 by booking in advance.
Topic: One for today
via mobile 04/1/2023 at 7:34pm
