Quote: Originally posted by big b on 11/6/2015
I would fell very uncomfortable if my ex suddenly bought me a present. I would be thinking what the f""" is he up to.
Changed my mind. Buy her a VERY expensive present!
Quote: Originally posted by ukhornet on 11/6/2015Thanks for all your feedback.
Kids have got her something (I had to buy it)
Just a card from me then. Never got her anything the last few years but felt guilty as she gets me birthday and xmas gifts.
My new partner thinks that ex wants to portray happy family's still. But I think know that life should move on.
And to point out that life does move on, and you no longer mean the same to each other, perhaps the card could be from you and your new partner together? And no present, as you say!
Life's too short to have past events spoil the future - otherwise, you're just continuing the bad stuff that does no-one any good. My ex and I know what topics of conversation to avoid after an unpleasant parting, and we now get along OK again as we still have in common the things that brought us together in the first place. He came to my wedding, with his partner (neither his nor mine were around when we split), and that was positive. We exchange Christmas cards and mark special birthdays with a card (not a present - too personal). OP, sending a card costs little, you just sign it "best wishes", she or her current partner may set fire to it, but she'd know that you acknowledge that she had an important role in your life for a good many years, even if that life changed. After all, you're both happy now, you must wish her well, so what's the point of holding onto negatives?
Buying a card and paying for the kids present is enough of a statement in it's own right. It shows that you are not ruled by any lingering animosity. You've moved on, you've got a new partner who has enriched your life.
Is it not the case that the best revenge is a life well lived?
Both our lawyers commented in the paperwork that our divorce was one of the most amicable they had ever handled....
We have gone our separate ways....Have very little contact other than discussing things relevant to the children....
But for the sake of future weddings...The birth of grandchildren....Christenings etc...We agreed way back to be civil and polite to each other when we do meet on the odd occasion....
Whatever befell us...And caused the break up....She is still the mother of my 4 children....And for that alone she deserves my respect...
Though a birthday/Christmas pressie for me is taking things too far....Card maybe....Pressie....No!!
Jelboy.
------------- Campers of the storm,Into this world are born
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Topic: Birthday present for ex wife??
