I'm one of the anti-noisy-child people. We steer away from family pubs, love adult only sites and prefer to stay at home at Bank Holidays. However, tantruming etc is part of how we learn what is OK and not - providing we have the strong, positive parenting that we need to learn better ways of dealing with negative feelings.
In the OP it seems that the child in question doesn't have this, and in turn neither did mum - as gran is still adopting ineffective behaviour management for all to see! Therefore she probably didn't have the necessary guidance and boundaries either.
Having worked with families with significant difficulties (usually resulting in badly behaved children) for 15 years I can only remember 2 or 3 who I felt didn't 'give a toss', the vast majority cared very much but felt such a lack of control and low confidence in their ability to parent that they gave up trying to manage behaviour, handing over the 'power' to the kids. Clearly this is not the way forward!
To break the cycle there needs to be massive investment in prevention services - but where to start? Sadly, often its those who need services the most that don't take them up.
I live in an area of some deprivation and along with that goes lots of kids who are subject to poor parenting. Drives me mad, standing in the queue at Asda listening to the parents behaving badly, but the fact is most (not all, I know) are doing what they think is right and no amount of glares, tuts and loud critical comments from my fellow shoppers will change the situation.
So, ideas on a postcard please - to improve parental ability, confidence and self esteem subsequently turning out well behaved confident level-headed kids! Got plenty of my own, perhaps I'll pop down to No 10 to give the PM the benefit of my suggestions!
I know it is hard to believe but most of the people who tut and moan at supermarkets etc, they themselves where kids once. They just can't remember it being.
You can't expect kids to behave like fully mature adults, especially toddlers.
Before you reply, I know that there are extremes and some strange parenting skills out there but surely where kids are involved, we all need a degree of tolerance.
You forget that there is a whole generation who,as small children were taught to offer their seats to adults, who waited to speak and who said please and thank you.
As toddlers you were taught, not only by parents but by all adults. Correcting someone else's child in public was not seen as tantamount to paedophilia or child abuse, but something for the good of all society.
But then we hadn't invented "self esteem" in those days.
Quote: Originally posted by SGThomas on 23/2/2013
You forget that there is a whole generation who,as small children were taught to offer their seats to adults, who waited to speak and who said please and thank you.
As toddlers you were taught, not only by parents but by all adults. Correcting someone else's child in public was not seen as tantamount to paedophilia or child abuse, but something for the good of all society.
But then we hadn't invented "self esteem" in those days.
Well said! Our kids were taught respect and manners. Something sadly lacking these days.
Quote: Originally posted by SGThomas on 23/2/2013
You forget that there is a whole generation who,as small children were taught to offer their seats to adults, who waited to speak and who said please and thank you.
As toddlers you were taught, not only by parents but by all adults. Correcting someone else's child in public was not seen as tantamount to paedophilia or child abuse, but something for the good of all society.
But then we hadn't invented "self esteem" in those days.
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Wendy
------------- Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends...
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Quote: Originally posted by SGThomas on 23/2/2013You forget that there is a whole generation who,as small children were taught to offer their seats to adults, who waited to speak and who said please and thank you.
As toddlers you were taught, not only by parents but by all adults. Correcting someone else's child in public was not seen as tantamount to paedophilia or child abuse, but something for the good of all society.
But then we hadn't invented "self esteem" in those days.
Quote: Originally posted by SGThomas on 23/2/2013
You forget that there is a whole generation who,as small children were taught to offer their seats to adults, who waited to speak and who said please and thank you.
As toddlers you were taught, not only by parents but by all adults. Correcting someone else's child in public was not seen as tantamount to paedophilia or child abuse, but something for the good of all society.
But then we hadn't invented "self esteem" in those days.
Harping back to the good old days, eh? With a little dig at modern society thrown in......
Did any of you read the article in the OP (apart from Mucker1884) before going on "bad kids/parenting of today" rants? Because none of your posts seem to relate to it.
The majority of you notice the "bad", how many of you in turn notice the "good"? The parents who have got to the till at the supermarket and out the door with a brood of kids without you realising? The parent who's child is sat next to them on the bus/train with no console having a jolly old conversation? The parent who's sat with their child next to them with a perfectly silent console? The child that is holding the door open for you while you storm through without a second thought? I could go on forever...
I don't believe that things were 'better' in the old days, things were different.. Including the access to shops/supermarkets/public transport. I'm sure there was equal amounts of "bad" and unruly kids then too... But we didn't all shop in a supermarket/shopping centre/use public transport so readily then to notice either...
The way we live has changed, perhaps for the better, perhaps for the worse... But if your going to criticise the bad, please praise the good, it's seems only fair.
You forget that there is a whole generation who, as small children...
...didn't have supermarkets. We had to wait outside all the different shops either in the pram or holding onto the pram waiting for our mums. Nobody would have worried about you being stolen in those days because nobody knew children got stolen. This was because there was no television. Times were hard back then, we daren't scream or cry else we wouldn't have been fed.
------------- Ollie
2016
Monplaisir - Provence
Camping Les Gorges du Loup
Did any of you read the article in the OP (apart from Mucker1884) before going on "bad kids/parenting of today" rants? Because none of your posts seem to relate to it.
The article says Centre manager Brenda Mulcahy said staff and customers complained about children "running amok" in the food court and said children were sometimes so loud she could hear their screams in her office, which was "miles away". "People deserve the quiet enjoyment of their cup of tea," Ms Mulcahy told The Manly Daily newspaper.
"Mothers have to be more responsible. We have had so many complaints."
I suppose they were if taken just from the quote you have used, but that quote is out of context without the words "After complaints about children becoming too loud near the centre’s play area". If taken as you have quoted then yes I agree, they are apposite, but they are not if taken the articles true context.
The OP and article related to many things; screaming kids, play areas in shopping centres, the right to ban certain behaviour, parental control and role, public attitudes etc etc.
A forum is open to anyone and they can respond as they feel appropriate within reason. Most conversations evolve and can embrace several issues, that is the art of conversation and debate, forums are no exception.
The right to free speech and open debate is one of the few freedoms we can still enjoy (at the moment ).
A day of all things motorhome and campervan. The show is held both in the main indoor arena and across the grounds. Catering, hot drinks and food options are available. Easy access to the site and free parking included. Win one of five pairs of day tickets
Topic: Screamin Kids Banned From Shops
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