Tentaddict7 I totally agree with you! As the mum of a 18 year old adult male, he regularly has 'mixed sex sleepovers with a group of good friends at each other's houses ours included when we are away. I don't have a problem with it and trust him to be sensible(ish) and like you the condition is they tidy up after themselves and I expect him to tidy up after himself when he stays out. I personally much prefer they all do this than walk the streets and pub crawling every weekend (pub crawls now a days seem to be the exception rather than the rule!), at least I know where he is and he is safe, some of the stories of fights involving weapons in pubs and night clubs make me shiver!
It is a matter of trust and faith, though, alpiner, even if they do 'get up to something' they are informed and armed with the right knowledge and aware that they responsible for that, mindful of the consequences that are their responsibility, and for keeping themselves safe.
Just as we were, didn't mean we were saints, but we were trusted and expected to be responsible for our own actions, so we acted accordingly.
At 18 this surely should be a given for most young people. After all they are young adults.
SA2009, yes, I do agree about the pub crawls and fights outside nightclubs, after all it is not necessarily in the control of the young person if someone starts on them, and that would cause me far more worry than leaving a bunch of young people on their own in my home or someone else's.
Thankfully, my lot are not into that nightclub and bar type drink-yourself-stupid scenario.
That said, we are allowing our almost 17 year old to go to the Reading Festival with a group of friends in August this year, I totally trust him and his mates to behave but my worries will always be other people, I do trust and hope he has the sense to steer clear of trouble, and do think he will but again you have to have faith in them, they have to do these things some time, and you cannot mollycoddle them, I am sure he will have a fantastic time, whilst his poor old mother adds to her grey hair collection!
I will be laying it on the line to him before he goes to keep away from trouble, drugs and drinking too much alcohol, unlikely he will get served anyway.
------------- Enjoying life beyond kids, new love, living on a boat and a new lease of life in my mid 50s! Never too old to reinvent yourself.....
Mum to five - 4 girls, 31,28,25 and 22 and one boy, 20
Engaged! Wedding June 2020!
Funny you should ask, my eldest went to India several years ago! Also when I was expecting her 27 years ago, her father/ my then boyfriend/now husband went to Sri Lanka for 6 weeks.
What a wonderful experience for them both!
Don't get what the grandparent said about 'shire' in the name, hardly the same thing, really?
------------- Enjoying life beyond kids, new love, living on a boat and a new lease of life in my mid 50s! Never too old to reinvent yourself.....
Mum to five - 4 girls, 31,28,25 and 22 and one boy, 20
Engaged! Wedding June 2020!
I have always dreamed of having a wee lassie and would have spoiled her rotten but,then again i have a gorgeous niece who makes up for it.
My niece when she was in her teens was always taught to keep her hand on her hapenie (Half penny)and always complained to me about her dad being strict with her.
My advice to her was,always to watch out for boys and dont be left holding the baby and,if your going to have sex take precations.Do what your dad says as hes only looking out for you and,what he dosent see wont hurt him.
Shes now a woman now of thirty two and shes got girls of her own and when i hear her dishing out the rules to them i always laugh and say "Do you remember when you were that age "
Jeff, your niece is very lucky having an uncle who gives such sound advice!
It sounds like you have a great relationship with her.
My four girls were given pretty much the same advice, to take care and be sensible, and be aware of the consequences of their actions.
They also knew that they could come to me with anything, and that they would be listened to and given an honest opinion.
None of my girls have kids yet, but if they do I expect they will be the same with their children.
That said, although my son obviously doesn't have the issue of pregnancy for himself to worry about, the advice given to them stands for him too, to be responsible as a young man, respect girls and expect them to respect him too.
I think informing and teaching responsibility and respect at a young age really does pay dividends when young people start to go out into the world and find their independence.
Above all, trust makes a huge amount of difference, I find it quite sad that some parents have such low opinions and expectations of their youngsters and will not give them a chance to prove that they can be trusted.
That has to happen at some point, we as parents naturally worry, but you can't wrap them in cotton wool, just equip them to deal with life's challenges, and to make the very most of its joys.
------------- Enjoying life beyond kids, new love, living on a boat and a new lease of life in my mid 50s! Never too old to reinvent yourself.....
Mum to five - 4 girls, 31,28,25 and 22 and one boy, 20
Engaged! Wedding June 2020!
Amazing family weekend with old steam engines, classic car displays, market stalls, and full catering and bar. And camping on site - Save £25 by booking in advance.
Topic: Trusting teenagers?
DH so far has all his hair but then again we don't have a headboard 
