I have 2 children ages 10 and 3. Long story but split with husband ( wish was ex but can't afford to divorce - yet!) He has questioned whether youngest was his (??) and refused to pay anything for either of them. When I reached saturation point and threatened with CSA he played 'call my bluff' so I did it. CSA were brill - except he is self-employed!! Anyway sorted and monthly payment through CSA. last year he was struggling so being good person I am I agreed with him that he would pay me. Ok for so long... But every month I have to ask!!
Last week money was due - he text to say he's had an accident, no mention of maintenance. I am 'on the bones..'
So what do I do?
Any words welcome!!
Thanks.
Go back to the CSA and let them deal with it. It's what they're for.
Are you getting the maximum tax credits etc that you can? With an under-5, you're entitled to income support for yourself as well, if you're not working.
There's a good online benefits calculator at www.turn2us.org.uk. That will tell you what you should be getting.
Hope you get it sorted soon, took my son 2yrs before he got it all sorted (he has residency via a Judge) and the witch is still messing the kids about, turning up on some contacts and not others, all supervised though as she is that untrustworthy.
Once it impacts on the kiddies you have to get as much as you are able to, good luck hope you get some money sorted out quickly xxx
The advice here is to ask the CSA to apply an attachment of earnings as this way he will pay on the basis as to what he earns which realistically is fair both ways so if he earns less this is reflected on the payments made and vice-versa but the plus side with this set up is that the payment is guaranteed automatically each time his wages are paid. There's no more chasing up with the CSA or other half and he pays on what he earns so I would consider that this it's the best solution in the interest of both parties and the children.
my ex messed me about something chronic, paying later and later and later so in the end I got CSA involved and he agreed to pay them direct and they paid me. Early on it worked ok but he did the same trick he did with me he did with them, so eventually they put an attachment of earnings on his wages and his work have to sent the required payment to CSA by the 19th of each month. In principle it is good but if his work pay it late CSA do not chase it up until I ring to ask where my payment is. I think any respect and sympathy I had for my ex disappeared when he told me (and essentially his 2 sons to get used to being poor) so I wasn't fussed about it being dealt with by CSA. Also CSA no longer do yearly assessments, you have to request it (I've had 2 rises in 10 years)
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The advice here is to ask the CSA to apply an attachment of earnings
Didn't OP say he was self-employed? You can't have an attachment of earnings order on self-employed earnings afaik. The order requires the employer to deduct the money from the employee's wages.
A client of mine is a single mum and was getting maintenance via the CSA and an attachment of earnings order. All was fine until the father jacked his job in.
They seemed to be unable to trace him via HMRC and DWP, so we thought he might working on a cash-in-hand basis. Then he boasted on FB about how great his new job was, including where he was working. A mutual friend asked him how he got the job there, and he gave the name of the agency he was working for.
I advised the client to print a screen grab of the FB pages and post them to the CSA wth a covering letter.
A month later, they have reassessed his maintenance, it's gone up by £30 a month and she's due £720 arrears! Job done.
There is an annoying clause though that if the ex is employed via an agency its clased as 'temping' and as it can cease at a moment notice, the CSA will not set up an order to have the amount due stopped out of his wages.
This has happened to my daughter, she is remarried and has one child from a previous relationship, her little girls father works via an agency for one of the largest emplyers in the UK, and is very well paid, yet he refused to keep up his maintainace payments when he was supposed to pay them direct.
My daughter contacted the CSA, they did reassess the amount he was due to pay and increased it, but if he dont pay the money into her account, they will ring and chase him for it, but they refuse to set up an order to have it stopped out of his wages at source due to him working via an agency and being classed as a 'Temp' depite him working for the same agency for nearly two years now.
Julia
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Thanks all for your support - I know the answer is to go back to the CSA - but he is self- employed so attachment of earnings is not viable but he responded to them last time!
It's so annoying to have to do any of it - just wish he was a better man, would accept the responsibilty he has and pay up regularly and on time without me having to ask and chase!
Quote: Originally posted by roofie41 on 26/4/2013Thanks all for your support - I know the answer is to go back to the CSA - but he is self- employed so attachment of earnings is not viable but he responded to them last time!
It's so annoying to have to do any of it - just wish he was a better man, would accept the responsibilty he has and pay up regularly and on time without me having to ask and chase!
Ruth
Yes, that would be the best case scenario, wouldn't it? Sadly, life doesn't seem to work like that. The fact he's self employed won't help things, especially if he has a good accountant who can cook the books.
It happened to me (O/H was self-employed, drove a Bentley, went on hols to America etc with his new family but paid our kids £8 a week each) and now our daughter is in the same boat: CSA have awarded £100 a month for her son, while her self-employed ex drives around in a brand new 45k car and owns 4 houses. Madness!
I think it's not just about the money in these situations, it's what it says about how your ex values his kids and respects you. Self-employed people seem to be able to manipulate the system to punish and penalise their ex partners, which can then cause no end of animosity and struggles, which of course rubs off on the kids. It's sh**ty, and there should be tighter controls and checks for the self-employed, where child support is involved.
Children don`t get asked if they want to come into the world therefore, the fact that your OH has paid money for his children and rarely seeing them surely is not the reason he was/is paying? I would have thought he was paying because they are his children and children are not responsible for their parents breakups.
I have to agree with both Lidds0 and Ali!
The system needs to be completely overhauled. My (ex) has nothing to do with the kids - his new partner has encouraged him to turn his back on them. I feel for my elder child as she had a great relationship with him. When she was 7 she asked ' why doesn't daddy want to see me...' So much I could have said but didn't! My youngest doesn't even know him - when he pops in ( rare) she know he is daddy and his name is Colin - and that's it! How sad for them but how sad for him too as they are great kids ( I know I am biased!!) and he'll be a lonely old man one day!
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Topic: Maintenance - advice?
