A chat with a Social worker from your local Childrens department can be helpful, our youngest daughter is the Manager of a local Nursery, and she deals with children from similar situations as your daughters on a regular basis, most of which have been refered via a health visitor, GP or concerned relative, or sometimes herself as role as manager for Social services support which is free.
They put the best intrests of the children first, can apply for restraining orders against the abusive parent, help deal with benefit and housing issues, and safe gaurd the children against further abuse from their father.
The Womens Work support centres are also very good, but as far as l know they do not have such legal powers as a qualified social worker has, so maybe worth a try, and of course the work done by your local childrens social services department is free.
Julia
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She should call his bluff and stop access to the children. She is in a much stronger position than she thinks. He has been bullying her for so long she has lost her confidence. As he lives 100 miles away if he genuinely wants to see the children he will travel to see them. If he does come to her house and starts causing trouble the Police should be called and should deal with the call as a case of Domestic Violence. (Even though they arent still together because of the previous relationship it should still be classed as domestic violence and dont forget violence now includes Psychological violence) Denying access would force him to apply to the Family court for access this would be timetabled by the court and put access on a fixed regular timetable.
That's what I wondered about, Pnefan. But, we know - due to previous behaviours - that he'd stop their maintenance payment if she did that and possibly not rush to reinstate it.
There's the added pressure that the oldest child does ask for him and wants to see him (so is consistently let down, which is why I asked on here if there was a way to compel him to stick to an access routine).
Thanks again to everyone who's taken the time to reply. All comments and advice is appreciated.
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Topic: Abusive, Manipulative Ex
