We have just moved our caravan off the drive to a storage unit and our 14 year old immediately went to play basketball on the drive (which he's not been able to do).
Within 5 minutes of me leaving home to take the van he called me to say that next door had banged on the window to tell him to stop. The window has been put in without planning permission and as good neighbours we didn't object.
We live on a family estate with loads of kids about (cul de sac) and theirs is the only bungalow (perhaps should have thought about kids playing before they moved in!).
I've been round to talk to them and told them that my son has an attention span of a gnat so even if he plays it won't be for long. I was met with a very hostile lady who told me that the noise is really loud in their home. Whilst I accept this, I told her politely that I would not let him play for any period of time but that I would not stop him playing occasionally as it is on our property. He could be out doing all sorts so if I'm honest playing basketball at home is not my biggest concern.
I genuinely have sympathy but her reaction (which she blamed on her husband 'not willing to put up with it') has left me a bit cross.
I think you have to accept that some will find the repetitive bouncing of a heavy ball, like a basket ball, very annoying and distracting and upsetting.
I absolutely do accept that. If it was constant I could understand but he’s played for 5 minutes in over a year!
Surely ten minutes here and there is acceptable to anyone?
Quote: Originally posted by clair8998 on 10/3/2022
I absolutely do accept that. If it was constant I could understand but he’s played for 5 minutes in over a year!
Surely ten minutes here and there is acceptable to anyone?
I wouldn’t worry about it, you’ve been round to make the peace if he wants to play basketball let him, as you said your on a family estate and it’s a rare occasion.
They have been used to the quiet when the van was there, it's probably come as a shock to their system.
------------- XVI yes?
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Remember, if you buy something you bought it, not brought it.
I can't answer that.
However we had a neighbour a few years ago that had a young son. He also played a little basket ball NOT often I hasten to add. For the 10-20-30 mins he played only once and a while, we hated it.
Yes....... I was once a kid myself, and got shoe'd off of many streets for playing football. Then thinking. Them OLD Bast*ards hate kids!!!
Its only as we get older, we realise what a nuisance, we must have been.
Maybe you could ask the lad to have a play when neighbours go out shopping.etc.etc.
The approach doesnt seem like they ever be your best friends so it's not worth making too much effort to appease them, in my view, just as much as it's not worth going out of your way to annoy.
Endless repetitive noise is annoying - but if the noise isnt endless or repetitive you arent encroaching on their rights any more than you stopping your kid playing is encroaching on his freedom to play and exercise.
I note the people spoke to your son first - not you - which considering his age I think is inappropriate and I would be addressing their approach accordingly - in fact I'd consider this more significant than the ball thing. Also worth finding out if your boy felt threatened at any point and whether it is reportable.
If she is speaking on behalf of her husband then why cant her husband speak for himself - suspect there are more deep seated issues in that household.
Also, if pushed, worth asking them if the planning permission is through for the window yet and would they mind if you verified that.......?
They moved in about 18 months ago and although they’re never going to be our friends we’ve been welcoming. They’ll knock on and ask me to see to the bins if they’re going away which of course I have done.
The fence between us was damaged during the storms and I spoke to her about it when she came round for a parcel I’d taken for her - she thought it was their responsibility but as my hubby is able to change the post and panel I’ve told her we will do the repair at no cost to them which she seemed grateful for.
I’ve done everything i can to be a good neighbour so this has really rankled if I’m honest.
You never see the gentleman but she did say to me last night when I went round that he has no patience and doesn’t really like kids! Why on earth would you buy a house in the middle of a family estate on a cul de sac where kids always congregate?!
Defies logic!
Sounds like the country that hides its kids from CChittyBBang. You'd think people would be more tolerant and more grateful, especially in the context of the current wider world - so what someones bouncing a ball for a bit, at least you arent getting cluster bombs dropped on you by the Russians.
I wouldn’t challenge the neighbour about the new window without a phone call to the local planning department. You could say you were thinking about doing it yourself, you’re just asking “in principle”.
That’s because I’m not sure you need planning permission to put a new window in at the side of a house. It doesn’t change the appearance of the front elevation, it’s at ground level, it’s not looking into a bedroom or bathroom (privacy) or the garden (from what you say).
My friend’s kitchen window looks across their two drives into the neighbour’s kitchen window. They wave at each other. (There’s a low fence.) My FIL’s house upstairs bathroom window was a only few metres from the neighbour’s bathroom window but both had frosted glass.
A new window would probably have needed a building warrant though, if it’s a new opening in the wall, to ensure it’s structurally sound. But you wouldn’t be consulted on that.
Friction with neighbours is distracting though.
Quote: Originally posted by David Klyne on 10/3/2022
I think you have to accept that some will find the repetitive bouncing of a heavy ball, like a basket ball, very annoying and distracting and upsetting.
David
I am not an old grump, but have to agree with David. We do not mind it for a short while i.e. hour but it also depends when in the day. Many older people like to have a nap in the afternoon so a bouncing ball can be an annoyance.
Compromise with neighbour and ask them if they are agreeable to a time when he can play ball as youngsters need to get out and lose off energy. Also remind them that they were also young once. If they are not agreeable or make it very awkward, then I would ignore them and let the kid ball ball when it suits him as there is nothing they can do about it unless it is at silly o'clock time.
I hate confrontation and avoid it at all costs.... however, when my kids are involved Mama Bear comes out in me! I'm under no illusions that they are perfect and both have had their moments but I think we've done ok. Eldest is an engineer in the Royal Navy (23) and youngest (14) plays cricket, football, golf and any other sport he can try! He comes home from school with stories about some of his peers that make my toes curl!
It's pouring down here today so at least he'll be happy playing on his playstation interspersed with telling me how bored he is!
I would have thought moving the van improved their view and let in more light in the offending window. Any repetitive noise can be annoying. Especially when you dont know how long its going to last. The bloke over the back has a knackered old car in his garden. Every now and then, he starts it and revs the balls off it - literally, for maybe 10 minutes, to charge the battery. During this time, we cannot sit in our own conservatory for the din. I have often thought of going round and offering him my charger, but, as i know its only for 10 mins max, i think sod him. The car should really be scrapped, as its not moved a foot in over 4 years. That said, i must have been the worst neighbour ever over the years, with all the house refurbs ive done. I certainly wouldnt have like living next door to us.
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Topic: Unreasonable?
via mobile 10/3/2022 at 7:13pm
