Quote: Originally posted by Magicman2 on 29/6/2010
Ask him if as he is getting so big if he can help you, and that you will pay (cash) then go on to find task after task, including some things that will be new and take him out of his comfort zone. After eating the evening meal say how much help he has been and that you think that he has contributed, give him his cash and also a small can of beer and tell him that as he is acting so much more adult you think that you shuld treat him as such. Then go on to ask him if there's anywhere he wants to go or anything he wants to do, now the hard bit shut up and let him open up to you.
After the conversation has run its course ask him if it will be ok to ask him to do other tasks during the trip, you can get some great assistance like this, and at the same time get him to take part of his own accord.
This doesn't work every time and as the saying goes you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. But it has got to be worth a go surely.
You can usually have a pup tent on your pitch but it normally costs a couple of pounds more. Why not offer to set him up with his own kit "for going to festivals and events in a couple of years" in exchange for a bit of help with setting up your tent, rubbish and water carrying, cooking etc? Then leave him to it. Teenagers sleep an awful lot and I assume he'll come out for food.
I'd go with the little bits of bribery everytime or maybe it's called compromise. We always include at least a couple of things in a week that they will enjoy, so that they have something to look forward to, and even if those things are not our cup of tea we make sure we make the most of it so that they do enjoy their day, because we expect them to do the same when we're doing our things. Sometimes we're surprised how much we've enjoyed an activity even if I do have a brusied backside or blistered hands (pony trekking /canoeing )
Ours take the Ipods, DS and a portable DVD player but as we never camp with EHU we can only do small top ups on the car so they have to save those things for the wet evenings and join in with chores, conversation and the day's events. Cards for prizes is quite good. Prizes include a free washing up pass, or the last two chocolate hob nobs or choosing what we have for dinner etc ..so everyone can join in.
Mine do like reading though so good torches are essential and we make one of our pre holiday bribes a trip to the secondhand book shops and library and stock up. Then they're banned from reading them until we get to the campsite (so cruel) and that keeps them quiet and going the rest of the time. It's cheap too.
And if they really do have a strop on , we leave them to it. Once the car starts driving off up over the campsite wiithout them you'd be surprised how fast they can get off their backside and run to catch up,
Quote: Originally posted by saucycamel on 29/6/2010
oh and he doesn't mix well, he is into heavy metal music, he wears nothing but black and his hair is longer than mine.
Gail x
He's just a normal rock dude, they seem to go into themselves at about 14, it's quite normal and a part of separating from parents.( Because they are very very uncool!!! LOL)
Try him with an mp3 player for his music and see if you can take him shopping somewhere that caters for his special taste in clothes. My eldest loved going to Whitby because they had loads of 'goth' shops (rolleyes) so any trip to there met with amazing enthusiasm. Music mags in his genre may keep him occupied for a while.
I think they often feel as awkward as they look. They have hormones ruling their lives and bodies. Moping and wingeing is just a way to let us know how fed up they feel. Their moods can affect everyone around especially mum and its better to find a solution unless you particularly thick skinned. Tough job we have juggling the needs wants desires of our nearest and dearest. With my son, I offer him a late breakfast in a cafe every now and then and he has me to himself and will quite often talk and seems to cheer up, then I find out stuff that he wants to do.
Do not leave them home alone. The teenage boy can be stupid and reckless.
I'm sure he will grow into a lovely young man. "This too shall pass"
I am planning on taking my 15 yr old camping with us this summer, and am reading this thread with interest. Last year, he did not want to come, and was sulking in the car on the way. However, as soon as we arrived on site and me and his other brothers started setting up the tent, he wondered off in a huff to the play area, and found there were plenty of teenage kids hanging out there. I hardly saw him after that. Kept having to send his brother over to fetch him back for his tea etc.
15 is too young to be left at home, and deep down, they will feel resentful that you have gone on holiday without them, so better to take them and suffer a few moods and huffs. At least you can feel good about yourself.
Anyway, 15 is a good age to be able to leave him on site, while you and your partner take a drive out for the day, if he really digs his heels in. Keep in touch by mobile though, jusst in case.
------------- its me again!
Top End Farm May
RSPB Big Camp June
Diamond Campsite August
Thanks for the interest in this thread, Ash will be camping with us this summer sulk or not. i like the idea of shopping at shops he likes, so will take this into consideration when booking. I also like the idea of his own kit.
Having been there (the teenager, not the parent) I can offer a little help but bear in mind I've always enjoyed camping.
Firstly, at 15, nothing beats being treated like an adult - especially if it's even more so than usual. Avoid chores where possible though but if you have to get them doing chores they normally wouldn't be expected to do try to explain it in a nice way - even if it's a simple, "we all need to muck in because we're on holiday and I want some time to enjoy it too - besides, it'll get you away from us old fogies for a bit" A sense of responsibility goes a long way too - feelin wanted / needed really helps.
Get them involved in the better jobs though like putting the tent up; can you hold that up while I put the pegs in please? and "I'll do this side, you do that side - bet I beat you to the front" But try not to treat them like they're 10 ;0)
Include them in a few beers (even better if it's not normally allowed) in the evening and the discussions of what to do the next day - if they've got something valid they want to do alone for the day like go fishing or whatever - why not? They've got (no doubt) a mobile they can call you with if they need to.
I don't think there's much you can do about moods and sulking, you've just got to shrug it off and get on with enjoying yourself - I used to hate seeing others enjoying themselves by not letting my mood spoil it and usually I'd snap out of it and join in (don't make anything of it when they do though - just let them join in and enjoy it; I'd've gone straight back to being mardy if someone had said "I don't know if we should let you after that tantrum").
My 14 year old (15 in August) hates camping either in the caravan or tent. She much prefers 4* hotels with room service and ensuite!! But she does come with us. I take the lap top for her with a dongle so she can keep in touch with her friends. She hangs round the play areas and usually has boys following her around much to her amusement. I let her stay up till whatever time she likes as long as she doesn't disturb the rest of us but I don't allow the lap top. She usually just reads or texting on her phone.
------------- Smoke me a kipper ............ I'll be back for breakfast!!!!!
Strongly suggest leave him in tent to laze, moap and winge which he will do anyway and go out and enjoy yourself, he will grow out of it and be a better person, but your life is still moving on so dont miss out and wait for him to be ok.
Alternatively large volumes of Vodka and or Ketamine discreetly given would be effective( only kidding )
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Topic: Help!!! camping with teenagers
